Chapter Break: If you're a DUFF, I'm a DUFF

Find out who you are and do it on purpose. – Dolly Parton

It's been a while since I've done one of these... Here goes nothin'.

Yesterday I informed my husband that I wanted to hit up the Redbox. His first question was, of course, why? I didn’t want to tell him. In fact, I think we went back and forth for a good five minutes before he pulled the information out of me. How do you explain that you’re a thirty-three year old woman that desperately wants to rent The DUFF? (This is where you flood my inbox with messages saying that there’s no way I could be that old.) There’s just no easy way to go about it.

He made fun of me for the better part of thirty minutes.

What are you, twelve year old?

Like most women, at times I feel insecure about myself. As I’ve gotten older that’s diminished to some extent, but there is still a sixteen year old girl trapped inside of me that is convinced that she’s just not good enough. Does she ever whisper in your ear, too? The one that tells you that no one could possibly like you. That you’re too fat, too thin, too nerdy, like the wrong things, wear the wrong clothes… The list goes on and on. We are ALL insecure about something, and in this day and age (hello, social media) it’s almost magnified.

The real question is:

When you remove social media, your friends, family, and social expectations, do YOU like YOURSELF?

Sometimes I'm not sure if I do and it's okay to admit that.

I traded in high school for the world of books, and guess what I found?

More of the same…

It’s like we’re all a bunch of sneetches.

It’s not about whether or not you wear a star on your chest.. It’s not about perfect pours or the brand of shoes you wear. It’s not even about how many people have read your book or review or follow you on one of the seven hundred social media sites. It’s about who you are as a person. It’s about being the best you that you can be.

At the end of the movie (I’m ashamed to say I haven’t read the book. I’ll pick it up this week, promise.) Bianca talks about labels and how none of them matter. The only thing that matters is how you perceive yourself. She also talks about how each and every one of us is a D.U.F.F. (Designated Ugly Fat Friend). We are, and it’s perfectly okay to be one. There will always be someone bigger, better, skinnier, more talented, etc. My point is that the only person you need to be is you.

In the overly hyped up, read-everything-you-can-get-your-hands-on, I’m-cooler-than-you-are-because-more-people-have-read-or-seen-my-shit society we’ve built ourselves, the only thing that matters is what YOU think of YOURSELF.

We worry so much about how many likes we have or who's following us, and we lose sight of who we are. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of you.

The only thing that matter is who you actually are.

Find out who you are and own the hell out of it!

Seventeen-year-old Bianca Piper is cynical and loyal, and she doesn’t think she’s the prettiest of her friends by a long shot. She’s also way too smart to fall for the charms of man-slut and slimy school hottie Wesley Rush. In fact, Bianca hates him. And when he nicknames her “the Duff,” she throws her Coke in his face.

But things aren’t so great at home right now, and Bianca is desperate for a distraction. She ends up kissing Wesley. Worse, she likes it. Eager for escape, Bianca throws herself into a closeted enemies-with-benefits relationship with him.

Until it all goes horribly awry. It turns out Wesley isn’t such a bad listener, and his life is pretty screwed up, too. Suddenly Bianca realizes with absolute horror that she’s falling for the guy she thought she hated more than anyone.