Chapter 2: Ellison’s POV
“I’m not as strong as you.” I don’t have an ounce of willpower when it comes to this beautiful man. Even now, I want to plead with him to have me. To claim me. To take me into the bedroom and make me scream his name over and over.
“I’m not as strong as you think.”
“You were strong enough to tell me no.” I ache in my chest as I recall him pushing me away. No man has ever hurt my heart the way Jamie did that day.
“You’re wrong. I’m so damn weak when it comes to you, Ellison.”
We’d be together if that were so. “We’ll have to agree to disagree on that one.”
“The Order takeover is scheduled to happen in three weeks. You’re going to belong to another soon after. And it’s making me lose my fucking mind.”
Is it wrong to be happy to hear him admit he’s going crazy? “You made your decision.”
“What if I don’t want to live the rest of my life not knowing how you look when you wake next to me in the mornings, or how you feel in my arms at night when we fall asleep, or how you smile in your sleep when you’re dreaming of happy things?”
He didn’t mention a word about claiming or marrying me. That means I fall into the third category of females in his precious Fellowship. Fuck-worthy. “You said you wouldn’t taint me.”
“You won’t be considered tainted in the eyes of the brothers if they don’t know we’ve been together. It would have to be our secret.”
We’d be hush-hush, keeping everything we share in the dark . . . like it’s dirty. Like it’s wrong. Like it’s depraved.
So, what? When we’re over, I have to watch him hop from one Fellowship whore to the next because he can never have a wife? I have to pick up my broken heart and simply move on with my husband? I don’t work like that. It’s not in my makeup.
“I deserve better.”
“You deserve the best.” My chest tightens when Jamie repeats the words my father spent years instilling in me.
“You think sneaking around with you behind the backs of the brothers is what I deserve?” I want Jamie but not that way.
“It’s all I’m able to give you right now.”
“But I want more.”
I want his body, but more than that I want his love. I want his forever. My feelings are stronger than ever so what happens when our time together ends and I can’t give him up?
A month with the man I love versus never knowing what it feels like to have him inside me. Never knowing what it feels like to wake with him beside me. Never knowing what it feels like to have him hold me while I fall asleep. It should be a no-brainer . . . except I know me. I’ll fall so deeply in love with him that letting go will wreck me.
“A month together and then we part ways? It’s just not that simple.” It would be excruciating to mourn the loss of him in my life.
“You won’t question how hard you’ve been loved when I’m done.”
When I’m done. I hate those words so much. “Don’t you see? That’s the thing. I don’t want to be done and a month together is only going to solidify that for me.”
“I don’t want to be done either. If I could give you the kind of protection you’ll need, I would claim you today and give you my forever. But I can’t do that, Ellison. It isn’t what’s best for you. And I’d rather not have you than place you in danger because I’m selfish and want you for myself.”
“I shouldn’t be forced to decide between a month or never with you. It’s not fair.”
“I know. But you are who you are. I am who I am. Neither of us can be changed. I’ve given my life to The Fellowship. I’m committed to serving my brothers as a physician. My contribution. It isn’t possible to go back on my vow.”
I can’t make this decision right now. I need to think about the consequences of saying yes. “When do you need my answer?”
“Soon. I’ll have some backtracking to do with Sin if you decide against it.”
“Backtracking?”
“One of The Fellowship women entered nursing school a year ago so she could become my assistant. I told Sin her motive wasn’t to help the brotherhood or me. I convinced him she was becoming a nurse to get close to me so I’d claim her.”
The thought of Jamie claiming another woman makes me feel like I’ve been punched in the gut. Twice. “Is that true? Is she doing it because she wants you?”
He shrugs. “Maybe. I don’t know.”
I hate the thought of another woman getting close to Jamie. Despise it. “Would you claim this woman? Marry her?”
“You already know I’m not in a position to do either of those things right now.”
Right now doesn’t mean he won’t one day. “Would she live with you at the infirmary?”
“I haven’t given it a bit of thought. Spending the next month with you has been the only thing on my mind.”
She’ll live there. I know it.
I don’t want another woman living with him. But what say do I have if we aren’t together? None. Jamie can take in any woman he likes.
“Don’t think about her. Concentrate on us and focus on how good we’ll be together. How good the next month will be.”
A part of me wants to tell him he’s a selfish dickhead for asking this of me. But then there’s another part that understands exactly what he wants . . . because it’s what I want too.
“Can I have until tomorrow night?”
“Aye. I can cover with Sin until you decide. Until then, would you be willing to take a look at the properties with me tomorrow with the real estate agent? We’ll probably need some ideas on how each might or might not work for what we’ll need.”
What we’ll need. He’s so damn confident I’ll say yes to this proposal. I want to.
“Sure. What time?”
“Appointment is at 11:00. Could you be ready to go at 10:30?”
“Yeah.”
“All right. I understand this is a big decision. It’ll require a bit of consideration, so I’ll go and leave you with your thoughts.”
I follow Jamie to the door, maybe hoping he’ll offer a sample of what’s to come if I accept his proposal.
His hand goes for the doorknob but then retreats. “I think you could use a bit of friendly persuasion.”
I don’t have time to respond before my back is pressed firmly against the wall. I think he likes doing this—trapping me so I can’t escape his embrace.
His mouth comes down on mine forcefully as his hands move to grip my hips. The tips of his fingers dig into the flesh of my skin, almost painfully, through my yoga pants. He’s so aggressive. God, he would be a beast in bed.
My arms wrap around his shoulders as one of his hands glides around to grasp my ass and pull my leg upward so it’s wrapped around his waist. He dry humps me, grinding his hard cock against my crotch, as his mouth leaves mine to travel down my neck. “I’ll make it so good for you, Ellison. You won’t regret our time together. I swear.”
And that’s the problem. I know he’ll make it good for me, and it’ll possibly be the happiest time of my life. I’d get a taste of the life I could have with Jamie . . . and then it would be over. We wouldn’t have a choice. When it’s over, it’s over.
But, I crave him. Emotionally, physically . . . I want so badly to blurt out that I’ll do it. So tempting. But I don’t.
This man will consume me.
Burn me.
Destroy me.
And what’s worse, I may let him.
Endurance is the fourth book in the Sin Trilogy. Yeah, you read that right. The fourth book in a three part series. You're not hearing any complaints from me. I thought my fun with Bleu and crew was over. That thought alone is still depressing. I'm so, so, so glad I was wrong.
Ellison is, as we all know (or don't know), Bleu's sister. She's much different than bad ass Bleu. Ellison works hard to keep people alive and kicking, unlike Bleu who just kicks or straight up kills them. But the sisters fiercely love one another, and when faced with living separate lives or bringing Ellison into the Fellowship fold, there really is no choice. They just need to find the right man to "claim" her and suffer through endurance (basically having your butt whooped) in order to make her a true member of The Fellowship.
Ellison has her sights set on Jaime. Jaime has convinced himself he's unworthy. Why, you ask? Because he's a doctor. *insert eye roll* I know, right? A DOCTOR! Most parents would beg, steal and lie to get their kid hitched to one of those. Apparently in The Fellowship, saving lives makes you a wuss. Yeah, I don't get it either.
Everyone, and I mean everyone - except Jaime's evil mother - realize the two are made for each other. Now if Ellison can just convince Jaime.
Five minutes ago I thought I was getting everything I ever wanted. I thought my future was no longer bleak. I thought I was finally going to be happy. And now...my heart is breaking in two.
I know because the ache in my chest is excruciating.
There's never a dull moment with these people, I swear. It's non-stop crazy. I think drama oozes out of their pours. With that said, I would have liked more angst. I wanted more rip your heart out moments. And even though Jaime was rough and tough and bad to the bone, I heard about what a wiener he was for being a doctor so many times that I started to see him as a walking, talking hot dog. It would have been nice if he were able to finally see himself as...more.
One thing is certain. I love, love, love this series. I'm absolutely thrilled that more books are in the works! I need to know what happens with... well, everyone! There are so many questions yet to be answered.
One-click this series. You can start at the beginning or simply pick this stand alone up. (I recommend starting at the beginning.) The choice is yours.
You can thank me later.
Georgia resides in rural Mississippi with her wonderful husband, Jeff, and their two beautiful daughters. She spent fourteen years as a labor and delivery nurse before she decided to pursue her dream of becoming an author and hasn’t looked back yet.
When she’s not writing, she’s thinking about writing. When she’s being domestic, she’s listening to her iPod and visualizing scenes for her current work in progress. Every story coming from her always has a song to inspire it.
Representation: All questions regarding subsidiary rights for any of my books, inquiries regarding foreign translation and film rights should be directed to Jane Dystel of Dystel & Goderich.
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